have challenges in your life; everyone does. Maybe it's a work
situation with a difficult boss, employee, client or colleague. Or
perhaps you're grappling with a personal challenge like ending a
relationship of many years, or some life-altering decision.
now and then, life sends you a golden opportunity to walk your talk. I
experienced that recently where I was going through a rough time and had
a chance to consciously decide to be a victor, not a victim.The secret
is flipping your perspective with two simple questions.
If you're experiencing some workplace challenges, these questions will help you too.
Here's what happened and how these questions helped me flip my mindset...
For the past four months, I've had chronic shoulder, neck and back pain, arrrggghhh! Months of chiropractic treatments, massage, acupuncture, ultrasound, electric current, pain killers and muscle relaxants have
provided little relief. When I deliver a session, I make it through the
day only with the help of pain medications. Travel and lugging
suitcases is brutal. While presenting, I grit my teeth and act my way
through the day so no one knows the throbbing, deep ache I experience.
week, I got the results from a series of x-rays and finally learned the
cause of these months of agony -- I have "degenerative disc disease", a
type of arthritis in my back and neck, along with bone spurs that are
pressing on the nerves and radiating pain down my left arm.
first, I had a moment of "poor me", and that was fine, because
acknowledging your loss is the first step to flipping your thinking
around. Then I asked myself the two questions -- and I know they'll work
for you too.
MARION'S 2-STEP PROCESS TO FLIP A NEGATIVE TO A POSITIVE:
STEP #1: Acknowledge the loss
STEP #2: Ask yourself these two questions:
a) how could it be worse?
b) what's the gift?
questions will help shift your mindset and perspective in any difficult
situation you're living. For example, if your boss is constantly asking
to meet with you only to keep you waiting a half-hour twiddling your
thumbs, you could ask the two questions and get answers.
- How could it be worse? Well,
maybe your boss could be completely uninterested in your opinion. Maybe
he or she could keep you waiting an hour instead of half. Maybe when
you walked in, it was to scream at you versus seek your updates and
opinions on projects.
will benefit from applying these two questions to any painful situation
you may be living, whether in your professional or personal life. They
have sure helped me for years, and I am delighted to pass them over to
- So what's the gift? Your
boss is interested in your input. You get face-time with the head
honcho. While waiting, you know you're going to wait, so you grab some
reports you've been meaning to read and enjoy a half-hour of
You may be wondering what happened with my shoulder situation. Here's how I used the two key questions and what I came up with.
- How could it be worse? The
pain could be on BOTH sides (heaven forbid). It could be completely
restricting movement of any sort. It could have affected my right hand
(I'm right handed). I could have a non-supportive husband and family who
expected me to function as normal, regardless of the pain. We're in the
middle of packing up our 3-bedroom house and moving in a couple
weeks... we could be moving tomorrow.
- So what's the gift? The
incredible support of others! When I mentioned my dilemma of not being
able to pack up my house, my wonderful yoga colleagues (a.k.a., "yoga
goddesses"), my neighbors and my amazing friends, one by one, have
reached out and volunteered hours of their time to help me pack. Wow, I
was shocked! I never would have realized this amazing generosity if I
weren't in this situation. Another gift is the incredible support from
my husband who has been buzzing around me like a mother hen, ensuring I
don't overexert myself (OK, so I'm goal-oriented), and pay for it later.
He's picked up the slack and been my biggest advocate in researching
What's the challenging situation you're dealing
with? Reorganization threatening a job loss? A new unknown boss coming
on the scene? A client who's a real son-of-a-gun? Whatever tough
situation you find yourself in, control what you can by asking the
secret questions. You'll find not only the answers, but a more positive
outlook is waiting for you.
of the workforce these days are in states of great flux. If you're a
business owner, you know intimately the challenges of the economic ebbs
and flows. If you're employed by private or public sector, you have
likely lived through or are living through great change as your
organization reshapes itself. These can be difficult, trying times --
and they could be perfect times for you to use this two-step, two-question method. Here's to flipping negatives to positives. Can't wait to hear about your results.
Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
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include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author,
and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein motivates and teaches
individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve
morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate.
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