Marion's Communication Tips

A number of years ago, my husband, with his second degree karate black belt, was judging a karate kid contest and announcing at the end of each round the "winner" and "loser" for the record-keeper. After one particular round, a parent came over to him and scolded, "my child is not a loser -- he's a trier". Steve carried on, ignoring this input, and throughout the day he continued to announce the "winners" and "losers" per round.

Some may say that this language is too harsh. To those people, I remind that within the context of that contest, there could only be one "winner". Tough life lesson, perhaps. The good news is that it better prepares little Susie or Johnny for real life and how to graciously accept loss. It teaches them that being a "loser" in one activity does not make them losers in life. It teaches kids that losing at something is OK, even normal, and does not define them.

Can you imagine working with a colleague, client, employee or boss who has never tasted loss? It would be horrible. They would be unrealistic, expecting adulation and being called a "trier", never admitting that they miss the mark from time to time. First time they were called a "loser" in a work context, or told that they "failed" to reach a goal would be devastating. 

When we are excessively politically correct and cautious with our language, we run the risk of having no opinion at all, taking no stand on anything. We gamble filtering our communication through such an excessively stringent filter that it has no more body, flavor or substance.

Let me be clear here -- I am not advocating calling yourself or others "losers". What I'm suggesting is that we all lighten up a bit with political correctness. Let's try not being so offended when no offense was intended. Let's remember that maybe, just maybe, it's OK to be called winners and losers, especially in the sports arena.  Being called a "loser" in one arena does not a loser make. I believe that you only lose when the learning opportunity is lost. Losing every now and then, and even being called a "loser", is OK. After all, it's only through these experiences that we learn to win graciously.

PS:  Hey, join us on my FB biz page at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks. I always enjoy hearing from my MarionSpeaks colleagues.

Until next time, here's to
Positive communication,
Productive relationships,
Powerful results!

Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2010 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve their businesses and their lives by improving their communications. Chat with her Facebook www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks or sign up for her FREE weekly e-newsletter "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com