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Marion's Communication Tips

Marion Grobb Finkelstein offers practical, proven and powerful communication tips you can put to use in the workplace. She'll help you increase morale, confidence and productivity by changing the way you communicate. You'll have communication tools to connect with colleagues, clients, employees and bosses... fast!

Why Presentation Slides Fail

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, April 10, 2012
I have lots of presentations coming up in the next couple months, so I've been thinking about what makes a presentation fail or succeed. When was the last horrible presentation you attended or (gulp) gave? Think back and ask yourself why it was so bad. You might find that ...

... most presentations fail because of too much information, not too little.

Sometimes presenters just don't get it - a presentation is not a document, and it doesn’t need to be crammed with detailed text, charts, or diagrams. Quite to the contrary. You want each slide to only contain enough information to help your audience focus and recall the point currently being discussed. A few words, a telling image, maybe a quotation or words from a report. Remember, the bulk of your information should be delivered verbally.

If the audience can read your slides and get all the information, they don't need you.

Prepare each of your slides so they are simple, clean and can be understood in three or four seconds. Oh, I can hear you now, "But Marion, I have a bunch of details to share that are really important." Maybe you do, and that's exactly why you create a handout document to distribute at that point in your presentation. I don't recommend handing out the detailed docs in advance because, although more time-efficient, the advance document will be too much of a temptation to the audience members, and they will read ahead.

AVOID: repurposing your presentation slide deck as a handout -- it will likely fail as both.

I see too many people do that and I don't think it honors your audience members. They stick three slides per page with note lines beside each and figure that's their handout. Wrong. Presentations are storytelling. And yes, even business presentations are storytelling too. You're presenting a case study of a consumer reaction, a business case as to why a product should be launched, or an update on a project. They're all stories.

In, "Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences", author Nancy Duarte reviews the great orators throughout the ages to discover what it is that makes them so effective in communicating their ideas. She concludes that the most persuasive stories are those that take you on a journey, that move you from point A to point B. You get to experience the voyage, the transformation, and the human experience. Think about Aristotle, Martin Luther King, or great movies - they all tell stories and demonstrate how people and circumstances can change. And after you watch them, you may change too.

For your next presentation, forget the endless bullet points and lists, and replace them with storytelling. That's really how you engage your audience and affect change.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein motivates and teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

What Steve Jobs Taught Me About Communication

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Whether you’re an Apple or a PC fan, chances are you’ve seen clips of Steve Jobs giving presentations. If you haven’t, Google his name and check it out. He’s a pro and you'll learn a lot by watching this presentation master at work. Here’s a couple lessons I've learned from his communication style.

LESSON #1: Forget “the end justifies the means” when you're leading.

As a person, Steve Jobs had questionable tactics that have been brought to light in recent books and articles. It seems his focus on Apple was relentless and his family and many colleagues paid the price of his Machiavellian approach where, in his mind, the end justified the means and human toll. Some people suggest that this is an effective type of leadership. I disagree. Although it may have yielded results for Jobs from a corporate viewpoint, I’m unaware of any gravestone that reads, “He got corporate results”. No ma’am. Gravestones talk about people, their human qualities and kindnesses. Steve Jobs will forever be remembered as someone who crushed other people in his climb to the top. I bet his gravestone doesn’t mention anything about that. Nope, communicating like that does not a leader make, at least not in my opinion.

LESSON #2: A presentation that looks effortless is most often the result of deliberate practice.

In his recent book, “The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs: How to Be Insanely Great in Front of Any Audience”, Carmine Gallo studies and shares the techniques that Jobs used to prepare and deliver his legendary presentations. In his decades of stage time, his keynotes engaged the legions of Apple fans and beyond. Here are a few things Jobs would do to prepare. You can do them too:

  1. Rehearse. Rehearse is more than "practice" -- it means practicing in front of others. Gallo reveals that Jobs’s seeming effortless speeches were the result of obsessive rehearsal. Some of his five-minute presentations took  hundreds of hours of practice. If you’re preparing a presentation, don’t just practice it by yourself, in front of a mirror or before your pet dog or cat. Deliver a dry run in front of a supportive group of employees, colleagues or peers.
  2. Incorporate feedback. In addition to getting over some nerves of speaking in front of people, rehearsing in front of live people is a wonderful opportunity for you to ask for and receive feedback. Allowing for anonymous feedback will earn you the most honest, and sometimes brutal, responses. You won’t agree with all of them, so throw away what you don’t want and use the rest. I suggest using “the rule of three”. If you hear a similar comment from three independent sources, it’s probably worth implementing.
  3. Record yourself. If you're like most people, you’re probably reticent to audio or video record your presentation or speech. “I can’t stand the sound of my voice”, “I hate seeing myself on video”, “It makes me nervous to be recorded”, are all excuses I’ve heard from clients wanting to improve their presentation skills. Get over it. What you will learn by recording yourself, will far outweigh the awkwardness you may feel. You will be able to note your body language, word “fillers”, and speech patterns that may not be serving you well. Recording yourself is probably that #1 way to fast-track improvement in how you present. This being said, its true value is only found if you review your recording with an eye and ear to ameliorating versus judging. It’s a tool meant to serve you, not break you down.

Steve Jobs may be gone but his lessons live on. You can learn both from what he did right as a presenter, and perhaps even more so, by what he did wrong as a leader -- and communication was a big part of both.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

PS: Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it:
Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

WEBINAR: How to Give the "Best You" Job Interview (March 15 @ 2pm) -- Grab Your Seat NOW!

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Have you ever gone to a job interview and absolutely bombed? You stumbled over questions you know you could answer and then, much to your chagrin, you thought of the perfect response a day later. Or maybe you were so nervous, your brain shut down completely and went blank. Your nervousness may have been misperceived as lack of confidence in your ability to do the job and the interview went downhill from there.

It was a painful experience you promised yourself you would never live it again. Here's the good news.

This Thursday, you could change how you present yourself at your next job interview ...

Imagine feeling confident about job interviews, being sure how to respond to those dreaded questions, and know how to present the "best you" and up your chances for landing your dream job. If this is where you want to be and how you want to feel, then this Thursday, March 15 one-hour webinar is for you. You'll discover:

  • how to use your body language to let them know you're really interested in this job
  • secrets to build your confidence
  • tips to make a great first impression ... even before you begin the interview
  • the one thing NEVER to ask at a job interview
  • how to respond to your most dreaded interview questions
  • what to do before, during and after the interview to increase your chances of success

Thursday, 15 March 2012 Webinar... $99.

WEBINAR: THE "BEST YOU" JOB INTERVIEW.

http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

There are many reasons why people succeed or fail at job interviews. After decades of hiring employees and being interviewed myself, I've learned how good communication can make job interviews ... and job interviews can make or break careers. In one short hour, I'll share dozens of tips and suggestions that could make a difference to you and your career.

"Excellent presentation -- wish it was longer!", "Could have listened for hours", "An uplifting and encouraging presentation -- well done!"
Attendees of Marion's webinars

Executives have paid $250 for an hour of my coaching advice. Organizations invest 4-digit figures for me to present for an hour. And your investment for one hour live webinar hour with me is a fraction of these fees at only $99. If you land that new job, will you be making $99 more than you do now? Likely, you will.

YOU: "But I'm at work and can't listen to the live webinar"

ME: "No problem -- I email you a weblink to the recording you can listen to at your convenience!"

If you can't make the live webinar, don't worry about it. You can email your questions in advance and you'll get a handout along with a weblink so you can listen to the session multiple times when it's convenient for you.

One hour, and you can change your next job interview. The choice is yours.

LIMITED CAPACITY, SO GRAB YOUR SEAT TODAY:  http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

While you're checking out this webinar, take a peek at my webinar packages for extra savings.  You can choose from a collection of 12 amazing monthly communication webinars. Register for one webinar ... or get a package of 3, 6, 9 or the dynamo dozen. The more you buy, the more you SAVE.

PS: If you're interested in taking advantage of the EXTRA SAVINGS with the webinar packages and prefer to pay in installments, email me at Marion@MarionSpeaks.com and I'll arrange multiple payments for your convenience.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks
  

What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, February 07, 2012

 

Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words? Someone shoots a comment in your direction and you’d love to retort. The only problem is, you have no idea how to reply with a snappy comeback. Here's what you can do ...

Use “planned spontaneity”.

What exactly is “planned spontaneity”? It's a term I coined and define as a response that is planned ahead and delivered in such a way that it looks impromptu (and incredibly witty).

The beauty of this approach is that it gives you time to think in advance what you want to say and never be caught off guard and dumbfounded again. It removes the frustration of looking back at a situation with regret because two weeks too late you came up with the perfect response. It lowers stress and increases confidence with your communications because you know you are prepared to react to a situation should it arise. You might be asking, “How do I prepare for planned spontaneity?” Here’s the answer...

STEP 1: identify the scenarios that most often catch you off guard.

Think about your communications over the past couple weeks, months or year. What circumstances left you regrettably speechless?

Whatever the situation that left you wishing you had a witty and appropriate retort, if it’s happening frequently enough that you can think of several occasions when it really hurt, it may be worth recognizing this recurring pattern, the stress it evokes, and doing something about it. If you can’t see a pattern offhand, wait until next time you find yourself wishing you had a snappy response and then ask yourself if you’ve experienced a similar situation before. If the frequency and the discomfort is high enough, it may serve you well to invest some time and energy in step 2, below.

STEP 2: plan in advance what you’re going to say

In the quiet of your own time and space, explore options of how you could present your viewpoint while still being respectful. Brainstorm various responses with your end result in mind. What could you say that would honor your true feelings, represent you well and possibly help the other person for having heard it?

If you’re stumped and have no idea how to construct a wonderfully witty retort, become a student of human behavior and learn from others. Watch people in similar situations; see how they respond. If it works for them, consider adopting their approach. Watch TV and movie shows with an eye to inspiration. If the characters find themselves in situations like you do, how well does their response work? If it feels right and fits for you, give it a shot. Talk to trusted friends or colleagues to brainstorm constructive and productive ways to respond. At minimum, you’ll have  a laugh coming up with ideas and beginning with the most outlandish responses (you can then refine them to a professional, tuned down version that will preserve your personal brand and professionalism).

Here are a couple examples...

In my world of professional speaking and training, there are situations that occur quite often that I used to squirm about. My original reaction was one of embarrassment or being completely stumped, shocked and speechless. With time, I identified a pattern and realized that these situations occurred with a degree of frequency. So, instead of being caught by surprise, I use the techniques above and prepared responses. Take a peek – perhaps you’ve experienced these same situations or maybe the responses I use could work for you too.

SITUATION:

RESPONSE:

You trip up on words during a presentation

“Yup, that’s right ... I’m a communications expert”, OR “Just washed my mouth and can’t do a thing with it” OR “Easy for me to say”

A technology snafu

“Technology is great ... when it works”, OR (when I was speaking at an IT conference) “Boy, am I in the right room to get help!”

You stumble over a chord or take a misstep

“Ladies, I’m a professional – please don’t try this at home on your own” OR, “Can anyone save me from myself?”, OR “Have you ever had one of those days?”

What’s your most recent situation where you found yourself tongue-tied and unable to come up with a witty response? I’d love to hear ... and maybe even offer a suggestion or two.

All the scenarios I've described above have actually happened to me and these are the real responses I’ve used. They work -- I know that, because they've worked for me time and time again, and your planned responses will work for you too. If they don't at first, you can refine them until they do.

You will have your own situations and come up with your own responses that fit your audience and your style. A suggestion you may find useful, is to poke fun at yourself with self-deprecating humor. Or, if it’s a common situation that everyone has lived (like the technology failure), mention it! Each person in the room will relate to your situation and you – and that’s how you connect with others.

Give “planned spontaneity” a shot, and you’ll find yourself less stressed, more confident, and able to laugh at the situation instead of fretting about it. Everyone will wonder how the heck you come up with amazingly witty, off-the-cuff replies. I promise, I won’t tell ;o)

PS: Want more hands-on communication tips for the workplace? Join me for my THIRD THURSDAY monthly webinars http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it:
Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Public Speaking for Chickens

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Public Speaking for Chickens

Want to know a secret that will catapult your career or business? Learn how to speak in public.

Picture yourself managing a project. Your boss asks you to give an update at the staff meeting, or higher yet, at a board of directors meeting. This is your big chance. Or maybe you own a biz and you've been asked to speak to an audience chockablock full of potential clients. Wow, what an opportunity! The only thing between you and you having amazing impact on your biz, is your fear of public speaking.

"Give presentations" is one of the proven tips I share in my "Raising your profile (and adding value) in the Workplace" session. Presenting in front of clients, colleagues, bosses and employees positions you as the pro you are. When delivered with finesse and polish, public speaking shouts volumes of your professionalism ... and it shines the spotlight squarely on YOU and your expertise.

TIP: Give presentations to raise your profile (and add value) in the workplace. 

I received an email recently from a woman in Michigan. She was interested in learning how to quell her fear of public speaking. She was smart because, as a small biz owner, she recognized the benefits of giving presentations to groups, conferences and venues that gathered her target audience. What was stopping her was her fear. She's not alone.

Do you ever suffer from cottonmouth, sweaty palms and shortness of breath when you stand in front of a group and speak? If you don't, wait - it’ll happen at some point, and when it does, here’s a few tips to keep your fears in check and face your chicken within:

Tips to tame the chicken within before you do a presentation:

  • Meet and Greet: Nothing calms nerves like getting to chat with as many audience members in advance as you can. Then, when you deliver your speech or presentation, you’re not talking to a group of strangers – you’re talking to individuals you’ve already met.
  • No one wants to hear a lousy speech: Tell yourself that every single person in that audience wants to be wowed (who wouldn’t?). Their mindset is already on your side. They’re cheering for you.
  • Serve your audience: Believe that your message is valuable to your audience, that you are imparting information they need to know or from which they will benefit. It’s all about service.

You have limited energy, so decide where you want to spend it.

If you let it all leak out through nerves, you'll have very little energy left to give your audience. Instead, consciously channel it to serve your audience and to get your message across. You are simply a vehicle for that message. If you're nervous about speaking in public, focus your mind and energies away from yourself and turn to the needs of your audience. What information do you have that someone else needs? Figure that out and how you can provide what they're looking for, and you're halfway there.

Face your chicken within, learn how to public speak and prepare to see your career and biz fly high.

Select from a variety of communication webinars, such as ...

"How to Raise Your Profile (and Add Value) in the Workplace" THURSDAY, 16 FEBRUARY 2012 @2pm EST

ONLY $99

REGISTER FOR THE WEBINAR PACKAGE THAT SUITS YOU (Buy more, Save more!) http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

PS: Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it:
Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Calm Your Nervous Hands

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Calm Your Nervous Hands

Do you ever do presentations or speak up at meetings of some sort? Perhaps you're a volunteer or in the training field. Everyone has a reason to present his or her perspective at some point. When you do, are you aware what your body is doing? In particular, do you know if your hand movements are enhancing or detracting from your message?

Some time ago, I had a colleague contact me because he had a communication challenge: he was having difficulty doing presentations. Why? He found his hands were moving wildly as he spoke. In an effort to calm them down, he found himself clasping his hands in front of his body (rather tightly) for most of the presentation. Ah yes, the traditional "fig leaf" stance. Adam and Eve would be very proud of him. Unfortunately, his colleagues weren't.

When you're anxious about something, like presenting, for example, your body produces gushes of stress chemicals including cortisol and adrenalin. With those drugs coursing through your body, it's no wonder that you feel a jolt of energy -- and it has to come out somehow. Sometimes, it manifests itself as nervous twitches or fast paced speech. Sometimes, it's in the hands.

If you find that you're falling prey to this syndrome, here's some hands-on (pun intended) techniques that will help you tame your fidgety fingers. The trick is not to focus on simply stopping the behavior, rather, it is more productive to "replace" it. When you're breaking a habit of any sort, stopping it alone only creates a void, and that void hurts or is filled by something that may not serve you. Think smokers who stop cold turkey ... and then gain tons of weight. Instead, consciously decide on a productive replacement for the behavior you're curbing. Here's some suggestions.

REPLACE NERVOUS HANDS WITH DECISIVE GESTURES:

  • incorporate more hand gestures into your presentations
  • allow your hands time to just rest by your sides and let gravity do the work
  • become aware of your hand gestures -- awareness is the first step to change
  • take steps to become less stressed and nervous about presentations (e.g., prepare, practice, do more of them).

If you have the same challenge of not knowing what to do with your hands during presentations, try these tips. Soon your movements will look and feel so natural, your focus will be on your presentation instead of your hands and your effectiveness in communicating will be enhanced. Hands down.

Comments about this article? Go one and post them on my blog below. Share your viewpoint and get communicating!

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks
  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at
www.MarionSpeaks.com

3 Tips to Control Emotions When Presenting

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Sunday, August 28, 2011

3 Tips to Control Emotions When Presenting

Do you ever get emotional when presenting? Picture yourself in front of a Board of decision-makers, pleading approval for a project in which you desperately believe. Maybe you're on a platform relaying personal details of your life for a fundraising event. It could be a meeting with your bank manager asking for a loan that you know is the life blood to the business you've worked hard to build that now rests on this decision. Whatever it is that you're presenting is wracked with emotion, and if you don't keep that emotion in check, it may come spilling out.

Showing some emotion is wonderful. In fact, it's a strength. It speaks of passion and commitment. Emotion is what connects you to others in your life. It's one of the very things that makes you human. It's a good thing.

Like any good thing, too much is not so good.

When you're presenting, whether it's one on one or to a conference of hundreds, displaying too much emotion is awkward, uncomfortable, and difficult to witness. It makes you and your audience feel out of place. Think about the last time you felt yourself go over the top with emotion to the point that you burst forth in tears of sadness or utter frustration, and then that silence that followed. The seconds just crawl by. You find yourself thinking, "Oh boy, just let the earth open up and swallow me now!". The tension hangs in the air, thick and oppressive. You can bet your audience is feeling it too.

In my session, "
ABCs of Presentations", we touch on lots of challenges and solutions in giving presentations. A question that often comes up is how to control emotions. When you feel yourself on the edge of control, when you know you're about to lose it and say or do something so full of emotion that it will not serve you well, there's three things you can do immediately to grab back control. Here's another "ABC" you can use.

3 TIPS TO GET CONTROL OF EMOTION WHEN PRESENTING:
     A - Adjust how you think
     B - Breathe
     C - Change your position

1) ADJUST HOW YOU THINK -- Think of something that is void of emotion.
I suggest something from nature that is calming, allows for your mind to focus and clear out, and makes room for calmness. Think daisies in a field. Or a fish tank. Or a tree with leaves waving in the breeze. Or a flake of snow falling gently to the earth. Or the beauty of a brilliantly cut diamond. Think of anything that puts your mind into a zen state of passive observation. You choose -- and choose BEFORE your presentation, so you have the visual ready when you need it.

2) BREATHE. Yup, sounds basic, doesn't it? It is. And just as basic is the response of your body to hold your breath when you feel overwhelmed. Emotion increases your stress levels and physiologically, your body responds by releasing stress-inducing brain drugs and chemicals like cortisol and adrenalin. The antidote to these feel-stress drugs is oxygen. So stop for a moment, just a second or two, and take a deep and discreet breath. No one even needs to know you're doing it.

3) CHANGE YOUR POSITION -- Physically move. Change your position. Motion changes emotion. Let me repeat that -- motion changes emotion. When you shift your physical state, it shifts your mental state. The very gesture of shifting your seating position, moving a bit or a lot, changes your perspective and helps you to transition to a different frame of mind. If you're angry or frustrated beyond words, you could excuse yourself and politely leave the room for a moment. When you return, the world will look different to you. If you're on stage or presenting in front of a group of any size, take a couple steps to the left or right, and then begin fresh with another point, or a controlled and eloquent summary that is not dripping in emotion.

Allowing your emotion to control your communications doesn't serve your purpose. Instead, too much emotion muddies your message. People will remember the emotion, not the message.

Let's be clear here -- emotion in a presentation is good. We're talking degree here, and too much. Displaying your emotion in the right amount adds value to your presentations. When you do so, you move the audience to a place of understanding, compassion and action. By showing your emotion versus being controlled by it, you demonstrate that you are very human, have faced difficulties and (here's the key) have come out the other end. You give hope and leave your audience on an upbeat note.

If you find that it's just too difficult to share yourself publicly without being swept away in a tidal wave of unstoppable emotion, then perhaps this story is not quite ready to be shared. The audience wants resolution, and the knowledge that you've found a solution to your challenge, and that's what you deserve too. When you find that happy ending of some sort, and only then, bring that story and a degree of controllable emotion to your audience. And if, in telling that deeply personal experience, you find yourself near the precipice and about to slip over the edge of emotion -- change the way you think, breathe and move, and you'll change the way you communicate. 

Remember, someone needs to hear your message.

Comments about this article? Post them below. (Sharing what you think is a chance to communicate, assert yourself and build community).

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein helps biz people across Canada and beyond improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

It's Not About You

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It's Not About You

When you give presentations, does your mouth go dry? Your heart beat a little faster? Your palms get sweaty? As you prepare to meet one-to-one with a top level client or senior official, are the butterflies in your stomach doing somersaults? If so, you're not alone. One of the most common questions I get is about controlling nerves when presenting. Without hesitation, I offer this suggestion ...

COMMUNICATION TIP: Focus on your audience, not yourself

A lot of people get nervous speaking to others, whether it's one-to-one or to the masses. Speaking and communication jitters can get the best of us and can jeopardize how effectively we connect with our colleagues, client, bosses and employees. The way to get over it? Focus on the needs of your audience and your role in meeting those needs. Remember this -- you have a message someone needs to hear. Each one of us has information or expertise of some sort that would benefit someone else. What's yours?

Ask yourself this question:
  • QUESTION: what information or knowledge do I have that would help someone else (who?) do his or her job better, faster, cheaper, easier?
Know your audience. Find out what they need, what keeps them up at night, and how you can help them. Discover where they "hurt", what they lack, and fill that void with your skill, expertise and advice. Communicate valuable information and share your know-how.
 
THE LIMITED ENERGY THEORY

Here's the reality: we all have limited energy, so spend yours wisely. Focus your energies on getting to know the people with whom you communicate. That could be your boss -- find out his or her top priorities and figure out how you can support them. Maybe your colleagues need help in a project, and you have the expertise to make the difference. Why not offer it and lend your know-how? Or perhaps you have clients you're trying to click with. Ask them questions and delve into how you can marry your expertise to their challenges and find solutions. Using communication skills to ask the right questions and provide the right answers is what will help you to connect with others. Ask, ask, ask. And it all begins with how you think, which leads me to my next point ...

COME FROM A PLACE OF SERVICE

Let me explain this term "service" for a moment, so as not to lead you astray. I'm saying "come from a place of service" -- not servitude. You're not someone's servant. You are choosing to apply your skills to serve. You are committing to a motivation bigger than just you. You are making a difference in someone else's life because you deem that person worthy and because you know you can help. That's service, not servitude. You're not someone's slave, you choose to serve and you do so willingly.
 
Communication is really about knowing how we can serve others. Add to that "knowing yourself" and your own strengths, and that's an unbeatable combination. It provides the foundation for great communications because it puts the focus on your audience, not you. And that type of attitude is what gets results.

Hey, have you checked out my new Facebook splashpage? If you haven't yet "liked" my page, visit it now and see what I mean www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

Until next time, here's to ...
Positive communication,
Productive relationships,
Powerful results!
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
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Get more hands-on communication tips on Marion's Facebook www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks , book her for your next gathering Marion@MarionSpeaks.com and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com . Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to increase morale, confidence and productivity by changing the way they communicate.



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